Understanding Boundaries: What They Are and Why They Matter

What Do We Mean by Boundaries?

Boundaries, aka the invisible force field that protects your well-being, time, and energy. They define what you’re comfortable with and set the standard for how others treat you. Think of them like an emotional picket fence; you get to decide who has access and how close they get.

Without boundaries, relationships can feel exhausting, one-sided, or straight-up stressful. Cue resentment, burnout, and feeling like you’re giving more than you get. But with clear, healthy boundaries? You create relationships that feel safe, balanced, and actually enjoyable.

For millennial women who struggle with people-pleasing, boundaries can feel so uncomfortable. Saying no? Cue the guilt. Prioritising your needs? Feels selfish. Worrying that setting limits will upset someone? Relatable. But here’s the truth: boundaries aren’t about pushing people away, they’re about making space for the relationships (including the one with yourself) that truly matter.

What Are the 7 Types of Boundaries?

🚧 Physical Boundaries: Your comfort level with personal space and touch.

e.g., “I’m not a hugger.”)

💭Emotional Boundaries: Protect your feelings and emotional energy.

(e.g., “I love you, but I can’t be your go-to venting person every day.”)

⏳Time Boundaries: How you prioritise your time and commitments.

(e.g., “I’m fully booked this week.”)

🧠Intellectual Boundaries: Respecting differing opinions and ideas.

(e.g., “Let’s agree to disagree on that topic.”)

💰Material Boundaries: What you’re okay with sharing.

(e.g., “I don’t lend out my car.”)

❤️‍🔥Sexual Boundaries: Relate to physical intimacy and personal comfort.

(e.g., “I need more time before taking this step in a relationship.”)

📧 Work Boundaries: Help manage workload and prevent burnout.

(e.g., “I am unavailable for emails after work hours.”)

What Are the 3 Personal Boundaries?

While all boundaries are important, three key personal boundaries can be especially helpful for people-pleasers:

1. Saying No Without Over-Explaining 🙅‍♀️

   You don’t owe anyone a detailed justification. “No, I can’t” is a full sentence.

2. Protecting Your Emotional Energy 🛑

   Not everyone deserves unlimited access to your time and emotions. Choose where you invest your energy wisely.

3. Setting Communication Limits 📵

   You don’t have to be available 24/7. Whether in relationships, friendships, or work. It’s okay to mute notifications and reply when you feel like it.

How to Set Healthy Boundaries

If setting boundaries feels uncomfortable, here are ways to begin:

✅ INotice where you feel drained – When something regularly leaves you feeling exhausted, a boundary can help.

✅ Communicate clearly and kindly – Keep your words simple and direct without the need to explain further.

✅ Enforce your boundaries – If limits are not respected, repeat them as needed.

✅ Practice self-compassion – Prioritising your wellbeing is valid and necessary. Saying no to others often means saying yes to yourself.

Final Thoughts

Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out; they’re about building relationships that feel good for everyone involved. Setting them is a way of saying, “I value myself, and I want this relationship to feel healthy.” 💕

I’d love to hear from you. What is one boundary you are focusing on right now? Share it below 👇✨