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Neon sign that says you are enough

Do you ever catch yourself being brutally hard on yourself over the smallest things? Maybe you feel guilty for having a normal human emotion like anger or jealousy. Maybe you replay what you said in a conversation and wonder if you sounded silly. Or maybe you feel like no matter how much you achieve, it never feels like enough.


Low self-worth in millennial women is very common. Not because we aren’t enough, but because we were taught—directly or indirectly—that we weren’t


Where Low Self-Worth Comes From

For many of us, the seeds of self-doubt were planted early. If you grew up feeling like your efforts were never quite good enough, or your feelings weren’t mirrored back to you with empathy, it’s no wonder you learned to push down certain emotions and try harder to earn love or approval.


Add to that the media we grew up with. Remember the endless “who wore it best” spreads in magazines? Women were constantly compared, rated, and critiqued. If you grew up in the age of glossy covers telling you how to look, act, and dress, it makes sense that you internalised the message that you had to perform or perfect yourself to be accepted.


These patterns don’t just disappear in adulthood. They show up in how we criticise ourselves, how we struggle to rest, and how we feel guilty for being human.



When Even Your Feelings Feel “Wrong”

Low self-worth doesn’t just impact what we do; it impacts how we feel about our feelings. Many women I work with describe feeling ashamed of emotions like anger, envy, or sadness. You might catch yourself thinking:


💭 “I shouldn’t feel this way.”

💭 “Other people have it worse.”

💭 “If I were stronger, this wouldn’t bother me.”


Your feelings are not flaws. Anger signals that a boundary has been crossed. Jealousy can point to something you deeply want or value. Sadness shows that you care. None of these emotions mean you’re bad, they mean you’re human.



How to Start Reclaiming Your Worth

Rebuilding self-worth isn’t about suddenly believing you’re amazing 24/7. It’s about slowly unlearning the belief that your value depends on what you do, how you look, or how perfectly you perform.

Here are a few places to start:

  1. Name the critic. When you notice that harsh inner voice, pause and recognise it. That’s not your truth—it’s conditioning.

  2. Allow your feelings. Instead of judging emotions, get curious about them. Ask: “What is this feeling trying to tell me?”

  3. Limit comparison triggers. Social media can act like the modern version of “who wore it best.” Curate your feed so it feels supportive rather than draining.

  4. Practise enoughness. Try reminding yourself: “I am enough exactly as I am. My worth isn’t up for debate.”

  5. Seek spaces of reflection. Therapy, journaling, or supportive friendships can help you see yourself more clearly and gently than your inner critic ever will.


Final Thoughts

If you’ve been carrying the weight of never feeling good enough, know that it came from nowhere. It’s often the result of early experiences, societal messages, and a culture that taught us to measure ourselves against impossible standards.


But your worth has never been conditional. It isn’t earned through achievements, perfection, or people-pleasing. It’s already there, and always has been.


The work now is learning to see yourself through a kinder lens. One that honours every part of you, even the parts that feel messy or uncomfortable. Because you are enough, exactly as you are.


💬 Comment below: What’s one area of your life where you’re the hardest on yourself — and what would it look like to offer yourself a little more compassion there?


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In yellow NO is written on the ground with a pair of black shoes at the bottom of it

So many of us millennial women grew up as the “good girl.” The one who helped, who stayed calm, who made everyone else’s lives a little easier. Somewhere along the way, being “good” often meant staying quiet about your own feelings and putting everyone else first.



Parent-pleasing is a pattern that starts young. Maybe you felt like love and approval came when you were easy to be around, responsible, or successful. Maybe you learned to anticipate your parents’ moods and smooth over tension before it started. And now, as an adult, that same pattern shows up in your relationships, friendships, and even at work.


Parent-pleasing often comes with a heavy load of guilt, fear of disappointing others, and a struggle to say no. It’s a deeply ingrained survival strategy, not a sign that something is wrong with you. It kept you safe and connected when you were little, but now, it might be keeping you from feeling like your true self.


Why Is Parent-Pleasing So Hard for Millennial Women

Many of us grew up in a world that celebrated us for being polite, responsible, and “mature” beyond our years. We were told to respect our elders, keep the family peace, and not make a fuss. These lessons stick. For women, especially, cultural messages often reinforced that our value came from being caring, accommodating, and helpful.


This is why saying no to your parents can feel so impossible, even as an adult. You might feel anxious about setting boundaries or worry that speaking your truth will disappoint them. These feelings are valid and they’re deeply tied to your early experiences of love and belonging.



The Cost of Always Pleasing

When your relationships revolve around keeping others happy, it’s easy to lose touch with what you want. You might notice yourself feeling resentful, exhausted, or disconnected from your own needs. Over time, this can lead to burnout and anxiety.


✨ You deserve relationships where your voice matters just as much as anyone else’s.


How to Start Healing

🩷 Notice the Origin

Get curious about when this pattern started. Understanding where it came from helps you meet yourself with compassion instead of shame.

🩷 Reconnect With Yourself

Spend time noticing your preferences, desires, and limits. This can start small, like saying what you actually want for dinner or how you want to spend your time.

🩷 Start with Small Boundaries

Simple statements like “I’m not available for that” or “I’ll get back to you” can help you practise holding your ground gently.

🩷 Expect Guilt

Feeling guilty when you set boundaries is completely normal. Guilt means you’re unlearning old rules, not that you’re doing something wrong.

🩷 Seek Support

Therapy is a safe space to untangle these dynamics and learn how to step out of parent-pleasing patterns. You don’t have to do this alone.


Final Thoughts

Parent-pleasing may have helped you feel safe growing up, but it doesn’t need to define your relationships now. You’re allowed to prioritise yourself. You’re allowed to have needs. And you’re allowed to take up space, even with your parents.


💬 Comment below: What’s one thing you’d love to say no to without guilt?


📬 You can also get more content like this straight to your inbox by signing up for the newsletter at the bottom of my homepage.

 
Black and white photo with a mirror  in the centre and a woman's hand is reaching towards the mirror

“Just be yourself.” If only it were that easy, right?


If you grew up being the peacekeeper, the good girl, or the one everyone could rely on, chances are you became really good at tuning in to what others wanted. Over time, that skill might have left you less connected to your own needs, feelings, and wants. The courage to be yourself is not about suddenly becoming bold or loud. It is about slowly remembering who you are beneath all the roles and expectations.


Why Being Your Authentic Self Matters

There is no one else in the world with your exact voice, story, and perspective. That uniqueness is what makes you special. When you feel safe to be authentic, you experience more ease and connection. Relationships become less about performance and more about genuine closeness. Being yourself also builds self-trust. When you show up authentically, you prove to yourself that you are enough without having to over-give or over-explain.


Discovering Your Authentic Self

For some people, personality tests or even astrology can spark curiosity. You might laugh and say, “It’s because I’m an air sign,” when you notice certain patterns in yourself. While those tools can be fun, the real work of discovering your authentic self happens when you pause and listen inward.


Ask yourself:

🌸 What lights me up?

🌸 What do I need when I feel drained?

🌸 Who do I feel most like myself with?

🌸 When do I feel at ease in my own skin?

Journaling, therapy, and moments of reflection all give you space to reconnect with your inner voice.


How to Tell If You’re Being Yourself

Being authentic doesn’t mean always feeling confident or having everything figured out. It is about noticing when your choices and words feel aligned with your values.


Signs you may be connected to your authentic self:

💖 A sense of calm in your decisions

💖 Less of a need to over-explain or justify yourself

💖 The ability to say no without guilt

💖 Trusting your worth without chasing approval

Authenticity is not about changing who you are. It is about peeling back the layers of people-pleasing and stepping into the person you already are.


Final Thoughts

Your reflection begins to show who you are inside when you give yourself permission to step out of performance and into presence. Authenticity is not a single moment. It is a practice of returning to yourself, again and again, with kindness and courage.


What’s one small way you’ve started reconnecting with your authentic self?

Share below, I’d love to hear. 👇


📬 You can also get more content like this straight to your inbox by signing up for the newsletter at the bottom of my homepage.


 

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